Is it Better to Join Military Spouse Clubs or Not?
by PCSgrades Staff - April 1st, 2022
For some spouses, the moment they arrive at a new duty station they’re already signing the kids up for soccer, finding a new church, and looking for a new spouses’ club. For others, no amount of sweet talk or fantastic luncheons is enough for them to join their local group of military spouses.
Some join at every duty station because they feel it’s the quickest way to meet new people, while others join because they enjoy finding new friends with similar interests. Here's what military spouses say about the spouse clubs at their bases.
Avoid the drama from military spouse clubs?
Air Force spouse Sarah says, like many, she was hesitant at first. “I think whether you love or hate the spouses’ club depends on the base and the people involved. When I was a girlfriend and fiancé, I heard about all the drama in the spouses’ club at my husband’s last base. Thus, when we got married, I didn’t join.”
And that's it in a nutshell for some. Some just want to avoid the drama. One Navy spouse won’t even discuss her ordeal. She raises her hand and says, “Never again!” An Air Force spouse admits that it is not always easy, “Yes, there can be a drama queen or two, but I don’t let them damper my adventure.”
There is much to be gained from joining the right club; finding instant friends, the chance to explore your new location through lunch bunch, wine club, or road trip groups, or pursuing a hobby with the Bingo/Bunco group, quilting, sewing, or knitting clubs.
Maggie, an Army wife for the last 14 years, joined her first spouse club just last year. “I wish I had done it sooner. I met so many wonderful people and learned the ins and outs of the post faster. Truly, the friendships I made have been the best part.”
Some spouses like to give back to the community through the philanthropic side of the club. “My current spouses’ club is very active in community service activities which are very important to me,” says AF spouse Sarah. “It gives you a chance to get to know other spouses who also value giving back.”
Read more about making friendships and bonding with your local community here.
Join military spouse clubs to meet new people
Military families often move far from family and friends and depending on the duty station, it can be difficult to meet new people. Air Force wife KaCee says, “I like to get involved and (a Spouse club) is a great way to do it!”
Army wife Laura didn’t join a spouse club until she left the workforce to stay at home with her daughter. She values the chance to bond with other military wives and mothers throughout the day. “I am a fan of military spouse clubs because of the possibility it provides to build friendships.”
Tristan, an introverted Army spouse who was once on active duty herself, says leaving the Army made her feel lost. “I overheard a woman at the gym talking about the spouses’ club. She invited me to a luncheon. I made some great friends and felt so welcomed I joined then and there. I knew that this would take me out of my comfort zone and help me meet new people.”
On the flip side, a Marine spouse says she enjoys getting to know her civilian neighbors as well as fellow military spouses. “I had a disappointing experience while serving on the board of a spouse club. And while I know that doesn’t necessarily mean the next club will be as bad, I prefer to broaden my circle of friends to include both military and civilian friends.” Another spouse says while her last spouse club had a lot of social activities, they were not very active on the fundraising/philanthropy side, so she lends her event planning/fundraising skills to her kids’ schools and athletic teams.
Keep an open mind, military spouse clubs aren’t all the same
Army spouse Mandi says she made the mistake of asking around about the Fort Hood Spouses’ Club before her move. “I got all negative comments about the leadership, so I decided not to join.” After being there a year, she says she met some nice women who encouraged her to attend a luncheon as their guest and she was presently surprised. “The leadership that had gotten a bad rap was two years in the past and the ‘new group’ of ladies were wonderful. Now I love it and don’t miss a luncheon and try to go to as many events as I can!”
AF Spouse Sarah enjoys her club. “When we arrived at our current base, my neighbor came over the first day. She introduced herself and invited me to a bingo event with the spouses’ club. Once there I met an incredible group of women who welcomed me and made sure the newbie wasn’t sitting home alone bored. The group not only provided instant friends who truly meant their invitations, but it also provided great advice and fun activities.”
As with most other aspects of military life, it makes sense to keep an open mind. Once the boxes are unpacked and the kids are busy with school and activities check out your local spouse club. It may or may not be your cup of tea, but you could be pleasantly surprised.
