Why Finding Space for Everyone in Your New Home is Important
by Rebecca Alwine - June 14th, 2022
Moving into a new house after a military move brings possibilities. The kids run to the rooms they want, imagining colors, decorations, and where they want to put their bed. The dog runs around and around and around smelling every corner before deciding precisely where it wants to lay its head each night. And then it’s time to find some space for everyone in your new home.
The common spaces are where family memories are made, but what about private space for the grown-ups? During the pandemic, we all spent more time at home, and realized how much we needed quiet, individual space. Military families often don't have the luxury of choosing a home with bonus rooms. However, with some creativity, you can make space for everyone in your home-- even in base housing!
The need for personalized spaces in your home
For generations, many homes have had designated space for the man of the house to watch sports, hang with friends, or talk about cars. Often called a "man-cave," den, or office, decorations range from simple to intricate with pool tables, posters, or even a bar. In the military community, you might find military man caves with loads of branch-specific memorabilia hung on the walls, such as certificates, swords, plaques, paddles, signs, etc.
Women need their own spaces too! Increasingly, more women are working from home and starting businesses, where they need a designated office or work space. Gaining popularity over the past decade is creating a haven for women to read, craft, sew, garden, or entertain. Whether it's a "she-shed," craft room, studio, home gym, or a sunroom, many women homebuyers are prioritizing an area that lets them enjoy their creative pursuits.
Read more décor tips for military families in this article.
Do man caves work in military housing?
Assigning a personal space for everyone in the family can be a challenge for military families. It’s hard to know if your next house will have enough bedrooms for each child, let alone space for a military man cave. Military housing typically does not have home offices, finished basements, or Master suite sitting rooms.
Luckily, military families are creative and have learned to adapt quickly. Before this house, we have never had designated individual spaces, so I talked to a few friends about what they have done.
“Husband has a military man cave room, and has had one for several years in different homes. This year it’s slightly less, but he keeps all of his games and everything in there,” says one friend who has four children in her four-bedroom house.
“No, we don't have a military man cave, but he used to,” says milspouse Amy, “We kept having babies, so he had to give it up. In Missouri, we had a two-car garage, so he made part of it his man cave. He had a recliner, PlayStation, and all that good stuff.”
My sister put it quite simply, “I have a study and I’m not afraid to close the door.” Similarly, my parents had separate areas as well. My dad had his office, and my mother had her sitting room. My in-laws also have separate areas for their hobbies.
With limited space, the constant rearranging of furniture to fit the current house, and restrictions on adding additional space in a rental home or base housing, how do you find enough square footage to respect each other’s space?
How to create unique spaces in your military family home
Look for small, odd places
Like the utility room I transformed into my sewing room, for instance. Lots of people use it as storage, but I immediately saw my space. Do you have extra room in a walk-in closet or a larger laundry room? Is it a big deal to park in the garage, or could that be transformed? Could you put a stand-alone pantry piece in your kitchen and clear out a walk-in pantry to use as an individual space?
Consider sharing the space
There’s no reason you can’t use a spare bedroom or garage as a place for both of you to enjoy. It doesn't have to be just a military man cave! Make space for both of your hobbies and interests. During the pandemic, we built a garage gym that we both use, often together. Whether you share interests or not, you can utilize the space to make both people happy.
Get creative with what you have
Also, look around your home and see where you can create some space. Military base housing often has unusual floor plans, so with a creative furniture layout you can designate nooks as your own space. Are your children close enough in age to combine their bedrooms, freeing the other one up for additional space? Maybe your kitchen can fit a table so you can use the dining room as your own space. Can you rethink your guest room and use it when you don’t have visitors?
Wait for the right time
With little kids, a playroom will frequently take priority over the desire for an office (or even a tidy living room, who are we kidding?) but remember that it’s temporary. Eventually, you’ll be able to move the playroom into a bedroom and create an office/homework area in the main part of the house. But, if finding space for one or both of you is simply not possible in your current home, put it on your dream list for the next time you make a military move.
I strongly believe a little time apart and separate interests are important in a marriage, but I’m not a fan of designating areas “off-limits” to your other half. We both enjoy our own space, but that space is always open to the other. For some, having that individual space is essential to the health of their relationship. Marriage is based on compromise, and the arrangement of your house should be as well. Thinking out of the box could allow you both to find a space you can call your own.
Rebecca Alwine is an Army wife, mother of three and lover of her adorable pirate dog. Over the past 15 years, she’s discovered she enjoys coffee, lifting weights and most of the menial tasks of motherhood. Her days consist of working out in her garage gym, audiobooks and pretending to cook while her Instant Pot and Air Fryer do all the work. Her motto: work smarter, not harder.
